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crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

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dumbscar:

image

HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY

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official-2014:

I was wearing my Gryffindor shirt while Christmas shopping and there was this cute guy in a Slytherin hat and we made eye contact and he looked me up and down and said “10 points to Gryffindor” and winked at me and normally I hate being hit on but damn boy that’s the way to do it

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leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

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